A Declaration of Integrity

A good analogy for my strange predicament came to mind a few weeks ago, when I was hanging out with a group of my students, watching a TV show about the training practices of the Navy SEALs. One of my students remarked, “We’re like the Navy SEALs of the spiritual world!” Everybody burst out laughing. It may sound like a strange comparison to make, and I’m sure some people would think it crazy. But it seemed oddly appropriate—not just because of the demanding nature of their training process, but because the goal of the entire awe-inspiring ordeal is to get the recruit to “evolve” to the point where he cares more about his “team” than his personal wellbeing or even his physical survival. This is the SEALs’ definition of a “perfect warrior.” Later, I reflected more on this analogy: Imagine what it would be like to sign up for an elite fighting force, not make the grade, quit, and then after leaving turn around and complain that they’d pushed you “too hard” and you’d been humiliated, tortured, and abused . . .

As harsh as it may sound to some, the simple truth is that my most virulent critics are almost all former students who failed miserably. I know that this may sound like a “judgment” and that New Age sensibilities may find it unacceptable, but that doesn’t mean it’s not true. As far as I’m concerned, the spiritual life is just like any other endeavor—you can succeed or fail. And when the goal is actual evolution beyond ego in an intersubjective context, success or failure is plain for all to see.

The fact is that the students I have asked the most from, and continue to ask the most from, are those who have been with me the longest, and are, to varying degrees, in positions of authority—publicly representing the teaching of evolutionary enlightenment and/or responsible for the emotional, psychological, and spiritual development of others. It’s no secret that the foundation of my whole teaching depends upon the cultivation of integrity, and that is why I’ll take great personal risks to ensure that those who are representing it publicly make every effort to bridge the gap between word and deed in themselves. Traditionally, one of the primary functions of the true guru is to be a mirror, reflecting to students not only the inherent freedom that already exists at the core of their own being, but also all the ways they are consciously and unconsciously deceiving themselves and others. That is the mandate behind my boldest demonstrations of this teaching function. Ironically, some of my harshest critics are a few former students who were once some of the strongest proponents of this at times uncompromising approach and wouldn’t hesitate to hold others to a standard that they were later outraged at being asked to live up to themselves.

What a crazy and unbelievable life I lead! So many admire and respect me for what one former student loved to call my “acts of outrageous integrity” but it is this very same quality that is constantly misrepresented.

You can take any particular incident out of context, as my detractors have made an art form of doing, and of course it creates a confusing impression. But in fact, if you were made aware of the enormous amount of time, care, attention, and support that had been given to the individual; understood the complex psychological/spiritual dynamics at work; saw it in the context of a collective endeavor to create a higher ideal for the noblest of reasons; and didn’t conveniently forget that it was a freely chosen path; what may have appeared unreasonable often starts to look very different.

Contrary to the picture often painted, the students I expect the most from are not individuals who just walked in off the street and were suddenly asked to demonstrate leaps of trust or commitment that were unreasonable to the point of being absurd. I don’t work that way and never have. How could such behavior possibly serve the larger purpose I am dedicated to, which depends upon individuals’ committed, autonomous, mature participation? It seems that too often, when students leave, there is an irresistible tendency to “rewrite history” in such a way that would justify the fact that they were choosing to walk away from that which had given their life a sense of profound meaning and purpose.

One thing that has never failed to mystify me is that some people just don’t connect the dots: If I really were the sadistic, irrational megalomaniac that I have been portrayed as, why in God’s name would anybody stick around for ten or more years before finally “waking up”? (And if I were that person, surely anybody who did stand by me so long would have to be a dubious character themselves, and whatever they said should be taken with at least a few tablespoons of salt!) If I really were such a domineering, unapproachable egomaniac, I’m sure I wouldn’t have any friends, probably wouldn’t still be happily married to my wife of twenty years, and would most likely be living a miserable life surrounded by miserable people—and nothing could be further from the truth!

The fact is, I live a challenging yet truly extraordinary life. My experience is of always living on the edge of the possible, and even at times falling over that edge! The profoundly creative nature of every aspect of this fully engaged, 24/7 immersion in a living experiment in the evolution of consciousness and culture is ever new and always thrilling. There are never enough hours in the day and there is so much more to do that holds so much promise. Life—being alive—means so much when you are awake. And the discovery of the evolutionary impulse supercharges every human relationship. This is the adventure that I share with everybody I come into contact with—friends, students, and colleagues; visiting teachers, scholars, philosophers, gurus, and sages; members of my jazz-fusion band; power-yoga partners; (and of course, my constant companion, my Yorkshire terrier).

More important than anything else, for me personally, is the fact that after twenty years of hard work, my bold experiment in the evolution of enlightenment is bearing fruit like never before. I’ve often joked that what I’m trying to do is harder than splitting the atom, but in many ways I think it is actually true. Cultivating and creating with others an egoless field in which autonomous individuals can come together to be and create a “new being” that transcends and includes individuality is nothing short of a miracle. But it is a miracle that is beginning to occur around here on a daily basis. Not only is my student body ongoingly experiencing a surge of consciousness in the form of a shared higher state, but many men and women have finally reached that point in their own development where their conscious participation in the process is beginning to reveal new structures that up until recently had only been unmanifest potentials seen in the eye of my own mind.

I know it’s not politically correct these days to say that one is doing something “new,” but I really believe I am. I know that what I'm doing with my close students will never become a mass movement, because for all the reasons I’ve explained and more, it is just too demanding for most people. But nevertheless, I am convinced that our success in transcending the ego together, so that a truly enlightened consciousness and culture permanently emerges and becomes stable, is inherently of profound significance for our collective future.

So this is my statement . . . long overdue, I know. The time has definitely come for me to come out and take a stand against those who are committed to destroying my reputation and creating doubt about my personal integrity, my students’ intelligence and common sense, and the significance of the work that we have devoted our lives to.

The most authentic way I can respond to any inquiries about who I really am and the nature of the work I’m doing is to say: Don’t take anybody else’s word for it, but come and see for yourself! Come see me at a public teaching or join me for a retreat, or you’re welcome to visit my students any time at one of our many centers around the world.